Here’s a bed-time poem we had as children. It is guaranteed to keep kids awake till midnight, worrying about dying!

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take…”  

Most parents know that bed-time is important and choose more soothing settling rituals than this!

Gentle rituals make the child’s transition to sleep a good one.  Then we get to look at their peaceful, sleeping faces and reflect on the day that has been.

It can be tempting for Mothers to use this time to besiege themselves with guilt and wishful thinking:

“I wish I hadn’t been so snappy with him today.” “I wish I had been more patient.” “ I wish she was reading better…”

This just adds to the burden carried by Mothers and often sends Mothers to bed full or worry and regret.

Here are a few tips that may prove more soothing and better for you when you look at your sleeping child:

1. When you look at your sleeping child take a moment to honor all of the unpaid work and care YOU gave today as a gift of love.

Everything you did from the point of waking to this point of sleep: making breakfast, school drop offs, groceries, washing, play times, homework help, baths, dinner – these are all gifts of love that YOU gave. That is awesome. Appreciate yourself for all of the hard work you put in today

2. While they sleep COMFORT yourself by thinking about how much hard work is already behind you.

Pregnancy and labour are over, the nights of breastfeeding…

If your child is older they can walk, talk, feed themselves, are potty trained…
These are all transitions you have ALREADY made successfully. Why wouldn’t you continue to succeed?

3. Appreciate them JUST AS THEY ARE NOW as they lie asleep.

Your child has been busy growing into THIS little person – unique in all the world!

It is not all terrible. Look at all of the strength, all of the learning and all of the good that they already ARE. A sense of love for who are child is now AND knowing they are still unfolding can make us feel better as we go to bed.

Looking at our child and seeing only shortcomings (ours or theirs) insults us and insults the wonderful work we are doing. [Dismiss whatever insults your soul.]

Thank yourself for all you have done to facilitate their becoming who they are to this point.

It is better to honor the work we have done and to feel good about the growth that has already happened.

We can then enjoy the calm of knowing that they are a work in progress.

They are still unfolding and becoming. There is still time.

Knowing our child is still “becoming” and not yet a finished product can help us go to bed feeling ok. It can also give us clarity about how we want to be tomorrow and what we want to do to nourish their direction.

This gives us some purpose and puts hope and strength into how we begin the new day.

When we notice the milestones, achievements, work already finished and the good that is already in our child (not perfection but goodness) we can feel a sense of hope about the process of unfolding.

This helps us to feel more confident about the future and this, in itself supports positive growth.

Pawnee Indians have a wonderful saying, “Even when we lay down, we lay down on our OWN path of life.”

See all of the good you have already created in your life and your child and lay down peacefully in the safety of YOUR gentle, unfolding path as you go to sleep.

Tomorrow will be a good day.
Photo Credits (in order): c. Depositphotos/ Kruchenkova, Iofoto.